The three question niche test

According to Eben Pagan, if I get three Yes’s to the following questions then my niche should be tested in the real world.

One problem: I am super torn between niches. I fell in love with the dating industry out of my own desire to have more fulfilling relationships. But I also fell in love with the marketing industry out of an interest to share my dating articles. For me personally, the two go hand in hand. You can’t really have one without needing the other. 

Here are the three questions that are supposed to help me solidify my niche:

  1. Is my prospective customer experiencing pain + urgency or irrational passion?
  2. Is my prospective customer pro-actively looking for a solution to their problem or desire?
  3. Does my prospective customer have few or no perceived options to solve their problem or deliver their result?

I have a feeling that a truth I’ve been long denying will reveal itself by the end of this training exercise.

Let’s answer these three questions as it related to the dating industry and my current book project:

  1. No. My prospective customer has accepted their single status with open arms. As much as they’d love to meet that special person to share their life with, it has no longer become the end all, be all thing for them. They no longer see the pain in being single. In fact, they’ve learned to embrace the single life and cherish every relationship they do get to have, however long or brief the interaction.
  2. No. At least not that I’m aware. My prospective customer has reached a point in their lives where if the solution falls in their lap, they’ll explore it. If it doesn’t, they won’t feel like they’ve missed anything. 
  3. No. My prospective customer has tons of options.

This waking reality is kind of sobering and disappointing.

Now, let’s answer this question for the social media niche:

  1. Yes. My prospective clients want to market themselves more so they can make more money, but they don’t have a marketing budget because they need to make more money first. They are in a catch-22 bind. They know they need help to grow, but they lack the resources needed to bring on more help.
  2. Yes, my prospective clients are looking for a solution to their problem. People in my circle of influence generally see me as the solution. But often times, they don’t have the budget to retain me at the level they need me to be at for them. 
  3. Yes, my prospective clients feel like they have limited options given their lack of resources.


Eben Pagan mentioned in his training the number one mindset revolving around niches. He says that “niches aren’t ‘chosen’ — and they’re not want you want them to be.”

This realization makes me want to cry. I literally have a tear dropping down the side of my face and into my right here as I lay here contemplating my niche. He’s so write.

I chose the dating niche, but the social media niche chose me. And more people need help with marketing than they do their love lives. Besides, maybe helping people grow their businesses through social media will help improve their personal relationships inadvertently. And there’s still an element of relationship building involved in social media.

I can still blend my interests together to serve the needs of my prospective client. I’ve found my focus, but I’m going to need some time to mourn my book project. I had such high hopes for it. 

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10 profit mindsets shared by Eben Pagan

Eben Pagen, the genius behind dating persona David DeAngelo and Double Your Dating, has launched a free seven day course on how to build a profitable business from scratch. Since he is a pioneer in the dating industry as we now know it, I figured he was someone worth listening to since he’s had such massive success in my chosen niche, especially when I found out the Eben Pagan and David DeAngelo were one in the same. Digital Romance uses some of the same marketing tactics as Pagan, as does Matthew Hussey.

There are 10 profit mindsets Pagan suggests having as the key to building a profitable business from scratch.

  1. Bootstrapping is better.
  2. Make it small, then go big.
  3. 80% of what I try won’t work.
  4. My business isn’t a job.
  5. I get paid in proportion to the calue I create for other people.
  6. I’m cracking the code, not just trying to “make money.”
  7. Business success comes when I’m doing many things right.
  8. Revenue isn’t the same thing as profit.
  9. I’m 100% resoponsible now.
  10. My success comes because I take action.

No. 4 really a struck a chord with me in an ouchy kind of way. No. 5 is something I’m striving to do more with for my social media management business. I have a few comprehensive guides in the works that I need to hurry up and finish so I can start delivering massive loads of value to people I might be interested in working with in the future.

Mindset Exercise – What’s Your New Mindset?

I always thought the having a growth mindset was the key to success. In E-Myth Mastery, Michael Gerber says that your commitment to personal growth must forever operate on a parallel track to your commitment to building a profitable business. Maybe I’ve got things all wrong. Let’s find out.

Question 1: What is the part of your mindset that has held you back from business success?

I think the part of my mindset that has held me back the most from achieving greater business success is this notion that I have nothing of value to offer the world. On the surface level, I know this is simply not true. But beneath the surface, self-doubt causes me not to believe in myself full-heartedly as well I should.

Question 2: Which mindset shift will create the biggest shift for your future success?

If there is one thing I do not doubt, it’s that my commitment to constantly learning and growing will empower me with the confidence to truly believe in the value I have to offer the world. Deep down inside, I have a big heart and a lot of love to give to those who need it most. I want to share my heart with people in a big and impactful way. Share the love, that’s kind of my new guiding mantra these days in search of values-based opportunities.

Question 3: How can you remind yourself of the mindset shift that you’re making – so you create the success you want in business?

This is something I struggle with. Matthew Hussey calls these reminders “emotional triggers.” I don’t really know how to answer this question. I have yet to find the emotional trigger that inspires me to take action. 

LOVE is what inspires me. My biggest successes in life came when I was in a committed relationship with someone. Finding someone to share that kind of love with has had its own set of challenges. Quite frankly, I do better in life when I’m in love and when I’m part of a proverbial team working toward similar goals. 

I guess this means my next challenge is to find trigges that create feelings of warmth and love inside me because love is what truly drives and motivates me.

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I recently came across a billboard in Hollywood featuring “the most interesting man in the world” that said something to the effect that people from the Westside were willing to make the drive just to see him.

Coincidentally, I posted a rant last month on Facebook about how sad it was that relationships and friendships in LA are a matter of convenience, and how most people don’t make the time for you unless you live within a 20 to 30 minute radius. As it turns out, I’m not the only one that feels this way. Friends and acquaintances who live about as far as I do from our home town, but in the opposite direction, echoed my sentiments. The post got 55 likes and 31 comments.

“People think if you moved away, you should have to come to them,” wrote one person who said she was always the one driving out to see friends, yet no one ever made the same effort for her.

“In LA, our relationships are defined by the freeways,” wrote another person.

“Freeways can make our break some relationships in Los Angeles,” echoed a local dating expert who told me to hang in there for friendships not defined by freeways.

“This is a sad but true statement,” wrote yet another.

I admit, I’d rather be a loner than sit in one or two hours of traffic, but I also crave the emotional intimacy that comes with deep and meaningful friendships. Sometimes, that kind of intimacy is worth the drive. We do it for people we’re fucking, but not our friends? Yah, that makes a lot of sense. Often times, our friendships last longer than our most intimate relationships. Yet some of us push our friends to the backburner, only reconnecting when that relationship is no more. 

The whole reason I started writing about relationships was because I sucked at maintaining them. In some cases, I still do. In an effort to get better at maintaining my own friendships and relationships, I decided to make it a point to start visiting people. If people don’t make the same effort, well, then I know who my true friends are. 

I get that sometimes finances and other logistics comes into play, like a friend I’ve lost touch with in San Francisco, but that doesn’t mean I should stop trying, right? 

Connecting in Real Life (Not Just Real Time)

The first person I met up with was my Facebook friend Mark. We’ve never actually met in person but he’s always engaging with me on social media. We had a mutual friend in common and became Facebook friends that way. 

He lives in South Bay but was in the Valley the following Monday for an audition. I drove about 20 to 30 minutes from Northridge to meet up with him in Sherman Oaks at a place conveniently located close to where his audition was. 

Convenience was indeed a factor, but why should I inconvenience him when he was already in my neck of the woods, inconvenienced by a long drive for a short meeting? If anything, I helped make his time down in the Valley worth it. 

Meeting was convenient for the both of us, but an effort was still made on both are parts by planning ahead. It was fun getting to know him IRL (in real life). We totally took a selfie.


Last week (or was it the week before last; I can’t remember), I made the long treacherous drive to South Bay to pick up my car registration. It was totally inconvenient for me because I had work to do, but getting pulled over for expired tags and dealing with a fix-it ticket would have been way more inconvenient. 

Since I was in the area, I made it a point to visit my favorite coffee shop in Redondo Beach and get some work done. I didn’t call anyone to hang out because I needed to focus on work, but as I was heading to the gym for a quick workout and shower before hitting the freeway, I think I posted something inconsequential on Facebook like “I love electro” that prompted a text message from a dear friend of mine I hadn’t seen in a while since my location stamp said Redondo and she lives in Redondo. 

We immediately made plans to meet up, and I’m so glad we did because it was long overdue. This is a friend who always checked in on me when she was worried about me during a really depressing time in my life. It was her simple messages asking how I was that kept me sane and reminded me that people do care about me whether I realize it or not, and no matter how much I felt like dying inside. I will always be grateful to her for that. 

We met up in Hermosa Beach at a coffee shop close the gym where I was at and reconnected. It was awesome and we totally took a selfie, because that’s going to be my thing now if it’s been too long since the last time I’ve seen someone. 

Thank you Abbie for making the effort to shoot me a text asking if I was still in Redondo that day. I was stuck in tunnel vision with my daily to-do list and totally wasn’t thinking about real life connections. Glad we got to spend time together. 

Who will my next selfie be with? The next time I’m in your area, or you’re in mine, let’s make it a point to reach out to each other and meet up for coffee, lunch or even happy hour. And we’ll totally take a selfie to prove to the world that we do in fact make an effort for our friends, in hopes that they will make similar efforts for us too! 😛

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How Lyft drove me to happy

My plan is working. I’m finally making progress with my student loan debt. And I owe it all to Lyft for empowering me with hope for a better way.

There are tons of rideshare driving women in LA, most pursuing their own side hustles that companies like Lyft and Uber help make possible.

There are tons of rideshare driving women in LA, most pursuing their own side hustles that companies like Lyft and Uber help make possible.

I owe almost $100K in student loans.

I’ll spare you the sad details that led to my financial ruins. All you need to know is that I was drowning in student loan debt the minute I graduated college. I applied for as many deferments and forbearances as I possibly could. I weaseled my way through whatever loopholes I could find, even went “back to school” for a semester, all as a means for putting off payments I couldn’t afford.

The way I saw things, I had two choices: pay rent or pay student loans; I couldn’t do both. I chose rent until about 2012 when I started burning out from working as many as two or three jobs on any given day. There’s gotta be more to life than this, I remember thinking to myself.

In 2013, I finally swallowed my pride, moved back home with one of my parents and made the conscious decision to stop making payments on my student loans. I had reached a point of no return in my life when I found myself freelancing full-time, barely scraping by with enough work and enough income to afford basic living expenses like food and gas.

Fuck you, student loans!

I wasn’t trying to blow off student loan debt; I had every intention of paying it back. But my lenders made me feel like my only choices were to make good on my debts and starve to death, or feed myself so that I can live long enough to make good on my debts. My private student lenders were backing me into a corner. I basically said, Fuck off! I’ll pay you when I can.  And I eventually did! I called in once every six months as a courtesy check in.

Right around this time, another decision I made was to finally pursue a full-time career as a self-employed freelancer and consultant since I was having a hard time finding a steady job. I was already dabbling in freelance and consulting work on the side, but I was always afraid of the instability that came with the freelance life. Some months are good, some are bad. Some clients pay upfront, others never pay you on time. You’re still living paycheck to paycheck, just not in the traditional sense.

The year I decided to default on my student loans was also the year I started realizing that the only job security I will ever have is the one I create for myself. I find this kind of ironic considering how volatile the freelance marketplace can be. During this time of exploring life as a freelancer full-time, I also realized that the 9 to 5 life just wasn’t for me, especially when considering how the afternoon hours aren’t exactly my best hours for optimal productivity.

Freelancing for freedom

I made less than $10K my first year as a full-time freelancer, but I was already feeling happier, freer and more in control of my future. I got to choose my clients, only work with people I wanted to work with, create my own schedule and dictate my work environment. It was awesome. My mom, on the other hand, thought I was a deadbeat just coasting through life. She didn’t understand what I was trying to do, let alone what kind of life I wanted to create for myself. In her day, people got a job and worked for the same company for 20+ years until they retired. Job security doesn’t exist for people like me without a highly technical degree or trade skill. I’ve had to carve my own path ever since I graduated college.

Sometimes I envy my friends who get really cool jobs doing what I would love to be doing for these really big notable companies. I look at their Facebook and think, that’s job security. Then you talk to them and it’s not all roses and peaches like all the pictures and status updates may have led you to believe. Everyone is still reaching for something beyond themselves. We all just have different ways of going about getting the things we want in life. I may be willing to take more risks than the people who rely on a day job, but those people that take day jobs are willing to endure more bullshit than I care to deal with in a traditional work environment. Call me crazy, but I kind of like being a lone ranger. But I also still like being part of a team and feeling like I am making a bigger contribution to society as a whole.

How Lyft is helping me improve my credit score

At this point in my story, I’m sure you’re wondering where Lyft fits into the picture. Well, earlier this year, I found myself turning to Lyft as a last resort to make ends meet. None of the companies I wanted to work for seemed to want me working for them, so I came up with a plan to attract the kind of work I wanted to attract by taking a values-based approach to opportunities. If a project didn’t resonate with any of my core values, I started saying no. This gave me the freedom to say yes to more projects that I knew would help me focus and develop my craft while delivering more value to the clients I was already working with and building my personal brand.

As part of my plan, I decided to start driving for Lyft to solve a cash flow problem I was having with my business. Lyft gives me the flexibility to work around my own schedule. It also gives me a sense of security knowing that a direct deposit will go into my account every week if the income from my business isn’t coming in fast enough for me to pay my bills on time. I also started seeing Lyft as an opportunity to promote myself when people inevitably started asking me what I did when I wasn’t Lyfting.

After keeping spreadsheets of my activity as a rideshare driver for a few months before my business started growing by word of mouth, I discovered how easy it would be to allocate Lyft income to monthly payments that are always tough to make in on one lump sum payment without really feeling the blow on the rest of my finances. I finally had a plan for catching up on student loan debt.

The plan was to break up my monthly student loans payments by week and make that my weekly income goal for Lyft. I already knew how to make $1200 a month driving for Lyft part time, so I knew it would be super easy to make at least $100 to $200 a week with minimal effort on my part.

I filled my dad in on the plan since he was my co-signer on the account. He knew I couldn’t afford the payments so he pretty much took it over, but he only paid enough to keep it out of completely defaulting since it has been perpetually six months past due since 2013. But I also know my dad has his own debts to stress about so I decided it would be in the best of both our interests to work together to get my student loan current. He’s got property taxes coming due. I also read about a way to pay down his mortgage faster using a strategy I picked up from Tony Robbins’ book about mastering the game of money.

Hiyah, student loans!

According to my estimations, if my dad continued to pay the monthly minimum, while I matched that in the form of weekly payments, we could get my student loan back in good standing within three months time. It’s been two months and my plan is working! I just sent my dad a text message saying that with one more month of his help, I will have successfully taken over the payment from him and he’ll have an extra couple hundred dollars to make an additional payment towards the interest on his mortgage every month.

Win, win for everyone! And that is just one thing I’ve been working on this year to improve my credit score and lessen the burden of debt. Now, to make more money… Business has slowly been growing, so much so in the recent month that I’ve had to re-evaluate my entire business and start raising my rates so I can start building a team of my own. If I don’t, I’ll have maxed out on my working capacity, my growth will be stunted and so will my income. I don’t except that. 

I owe a huge debt of gratitude to Lyft for being there for me at a really low point in my life, when I felt like I had nothing going for myself. After two years of freelancing, I was about ready to call it quits and lead a miserable life working a soul-sucking job for someone who also hated their job. Lyft gave me hope when I needed it most, gave me the stability of a super supportive parent and taught me how to take ownership of my life.

Lyft helped pull me out of my slumps by solving a real problem I was having with a reliable solution that drove me happier than the brand’s new CMO could have ever hoped for.

Thank you Lyft for helping my business grow by putting the wheels back in my hands.

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Skydiving without a parachute

I just had the craziest dream.

I jumped out of a plane, but couldn’t figure out how to get my parachute open.

I started freaking out because I was getting closer and closer to the ground.

But something strange started happening. The closer the ground got, the slower my descent. 

I landed gently on my feet without even opening my parachute.

Dream Analysis

The only interpretation I have readily available to me regarding parachutes in dreams is for a specific type of dream, one in which you’re falling from the sky and a parachute suddenly appears to help you land safely. It is suggested that perhaps one must lower their aspirations.

Lower my aspirations? Fuck that! 

Not quite satisfied with that interpretation, I looked up the symbolsim of the sky in my dream since I was essentially skydiving without a parachute. Scary.

This analysis is already starting to make sense. 

In dreams, the sky represents the expansiveness of the mind. It also symbolizes the potential of the dreamer.

Floating in the sky indicates an avoidance of the mundane or an exploration of one’s potential. 

Since the sky was bright in my dream, it suggests joy and symbolizes contentment.

Hmm. I’m only half way to where I want to be in life, but I do feel happy where I’m at now. I find joy in knowing that I am walking on a path of life best suited for me, no matter what anyone thinks. It is, by no means, an easy path, but I enjoy the inherent challenges that come with it. I enjoy the variety and spontaneity of it all.

I’m also finally learning how to make better decisions for myself instead of making decisions based on other people’s expectations of me. 

My subconscious mind is fortelling good luck in my future. Hmm. All very interesting considering some new explorations the journalist in me can’t ignore. I love exploring and writing about such taboo topics. It gives me such a thrill to write about underground worlds I’d never set foot in without the guise of journalism. I’m the type of person that will do almost anything (within good reason, moral or ethics) for a good story.

First, I found myself exploring a world full of swingers for a story I never ended up publishing.

Now, I am finding myself exploring a world full of orgasmic meditations. I’ve already got some Meetup creep hitting me up to share Tantra with me. 

I am hoping to discover how I really feel about sex, especially in light of the fact that I initially viewed sex as a form of escapism rather than connection in the years following Kyle’s passing. Death can really a fuck a person up, at least it did me (but that’s a whole other story and blog post).

I told this guy I’m dating I was going to a Meetup event about Orgasms, Health and Wellness; he expressed an interest in joining me so I sent him the Meetup link.

As if the experience of talking about orgasms with completely strangers isn’t awkward enough, going with a guy I’m casually dating might make things particularly interesting. I can already feel the awkwardness now.

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How to post from Instagram to a Facebook page

I recently had a request from a client that involved redirecting all her Instagram photos to post to her Facebook business page instead of her personal profile. After a little digging on the Interwebs, I found a solution. Now I’m sharing it with you in case you have an Instagram-based business you’d like to take a step further with a Facebook business page.

Follow these steps for posting to your Facebook page instead of your personal timeline:

  1. From your Instagram profile, navigate to the Gears icon on the top right.
  2. Scroll to Settings. Select Linked Accounts, then select Facebook. When you do this, it will automatically take you back to Share settings, and you’ll see it automatically connected to your personal profile. That’s okay.
  3. Select Facebook again. This time, you’ll see a Share To option, which says Timeline (Default).
  4. Select Share To and you’ll be prompted to grant Instagram access to manage your Pages. Select Ok. You’ll be redirected back to Instagram, where you’ll see your personal Timeline still selected. Below that, you’ll see a list of Pages you manage.
  5. Select the Page you want to post your Instagram photos to, then click the back button to get out of the Settings screen.
When you post to Instagram, make sure to select Facebook sharing to post to your Page. I just did a test run from my Instagram to my Writer Facebook Page. It worked without any issues and did not post to my Timeline.
If you try to have someone else do this for you from their mobile device, it will not work. I already tried it and my client said it didn’t work on her end. So I sent her these instructions so she could make it work from her mobile device, rather than mine.

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35 podcasts for your daily commutes

It’s been a crazy busy week, but I’ve had my mind on my blog and my blog on my mind. Today’s blog challenge is to create a list post. This should be fairly easy.

Small life changes go a long way

I once heard a speaker at a conference say that if you want to change your life, then you can start by changing what you read, what you watch, what you hear and who you hang out with.

In other words, read personal development books instead of trashy romance novels, swap out mindless television for thought-provoking TED talk and trade in the music playlist for a series of podcasts.

Though I believe that trashy romance novels, mindless television and music all have their place, I have made some small changes in my daily habits by choosing podcasts over music whenever I’m in the car.

Now I’m subscribed to so many podcasts that it’s hard to keep up with them all.

If you’re looking for new podcasts to listen to, here are 35 that I have in my listen queue (in no particular order):

1. TED Radio Hour

2. Hack the Entrepreneur

3. Social Media Marketing Podcast

4. The Smart Passive Income Podcast

5. The Fizzle Show

6. The Tim Ferriss Show

7. The School of Greatness

8. The Charged Life


9. The Writer Files

10. Rough Draft

11. Editor-in-Chief

12. The Lede

13. Hit Publish

14. The Missing Link

15. The Showrunner

16. ProBlogger Podcast

17. Online Marketing Made Easy

18. Screw the Nine to Five Podcast

19. Write With Impact

20. The Business of Freelancing

21. Duct Tape Marketing

22. Social Triggers Insider

23. The Growth Show

24. Sex With Emily

25. The Art of Charm

26. Savage Lovecast

27. Digital Romance Radio

28. Dude Panel

29. This American Life

30. SEO Rockstars

31. MLM Nation

32. Planet Money

33. SEM Synergy

34. Achieve Your Goals

35. The Mating Grounds Podcast 

What podcasts do you enjoy listening to? Tell me about them in the comments below.

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Self-defining moments

When I was in college, I once had a roommate ask me why I always felt the need to define myself.

Come again? 

She’d catch me saying things like:

“Well, I am ____, so ____.”

“As someone who ____, I think ____.”

“We ____ gotta stick together.”

It seemed to bother her that I had this habit of self-identifying with a particular group of people.

I didn’t realize I had this habit until she pointed it out in the middle of a conversation.

“You’re doing it again. Why do you always do that?” she asked.

My answer? In short: I’d rather define myself than let someone else do it for me. 

I know myself better than anyone else, so who better to define me than, well, me? Besides, I’d rather be the one to influence how people perceive me to be rather than someone who thinks they know me when really they don’t, let alone a perfect stranger. 

People make snap judgements about other people all the time based on the way someone looks, talks or carries him or herself. The way I see it, I am my own personal brand. And if I want people to see me in a certain way, then it’s my job to influence public perception and communicate my values one way or another.

Money doesn’t define you

This morning I was reading an article I had bookmarked from The Atlantic called “Work is About More Than Money” about how Americans define themselves by how hard they work. So when someone loses the ability to bring home a paycheck, it threatens that person’s sense of identity. This is especially the case for people whose identities were tied to a job title or income bracket. It makes people feel particularly insecure about themselves.

I can totally relate to this. For a long time, I defined myself by my income, and I didn’t make nearly as much as I knew I could be making. 

Through a lot of personal development work, I realized that I can be whoever I want to be. Every day, I am presented with these small self-defining moments that allow me to change the inner dialogue surrounding my sense of identity.

Five years ago, if you were to ask me “what do you do?” at a networking event, I’d always freeze. I never felt comfortable calling myself a writer, largely because the money I made as a writer was never enough to pay my bills, let alone my student loan debt. But I didn’t feel comfortable defining myself by whatever my job title was at the time either because, quite frankly, I had a really hard time holding down a job for more than six months to a year. My job titles kept changing as I hopped from one job to the next trying to find my place in the world after graduating during the height of a recession. 

By the time I hit 25 or 26, I seriously started having an identity crises. Who the fuck am I? It was an inner battle I couldn’t stop fighting. Then one day I had an epiphany. In my failures to hold down a steady day job, I realized that I kept coming back to the same crossroads. 

No matter what direction these odd-ball jobs took me, all roads kept leading back to the same place, in front of a white screen and a blinking cursor.

I started to realize that chasing after a bigger paycheck was leading me farther and farther away from myself. I started chasing after personal fulfillment and values-based opportunities instead. 

As a result, I finally feel like I am honoring my authentic self, and embracing the fact that I like to carve my own path in life. The rewards far outweigh the struggles.

It took me years to finally start owning and honoring who I am regardless of how many zeros show up on my bank statement. 

Better late than never! 

And for the record, here is how I choose to define myself:

I am a writer, blogger and journalist who specializes in dating, social media and relationship management. I’m also a rockstar karaoke singer, an avid softball player and all-star volunteer who loves exploring life hacks that facilitate growth and expansion in the areas of health, wealth and love. 

How do you define yourself? What would you like to be known for in your circle of friends? Carry yourself accordingly.


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The homework never ends

Remember homework? Remember how the older we got, the more homework we’d get? We couldn’t wait to graduate just to put an end to all the madness. Then college came, life happened, and the homework just seemed to pile up. 

Ain’t no body got time for that.

In retrospect, I don’t know how I was able to maintain good grades while working full-time and being a student leader within my organization, which was almost like another full-time job in itself between all the meetings and social obligations. 

By the time I graduated college, you know what my first thoughts were?

Woo-hoo! Finally! A life free of homework! No more homework! At last! Never again! Hallelujah! Praise be Jesus!

Several years later, I have come to learn that there will always be homework. And you know what? I’m completely okay with that. Especially now that I understand its value on the road to achieving optimal health, maximum wealth and abundant love all on your own terms. 

Check out “MLM Nation” podcast

I recently discovered this new podcast called “MLM Nation” and was listening to some of it this morning when I heard something that totally stopped me in my tracks like a suckerpunch to the stomach.

If you’re going to succeed in network marketing, you have to invite, you have to present, you have to follow up,  and there’s no way around it. You have to make a list, and you’ve gotta contact that list. There’s no way around it – until now…

Then I heard them talking about a system that would pay you to make your list and make sure that 100 percent of your list got contacted. 

“Of all the people who ever joined your business, would you say many of them, if not most of them, did not ever make their list?” said Mitch Huhem of

That’s when the glass shattered for me.

“Yes, that’s correct. People are scared of rejection. They start having negative thoughts or they prejudge a prospect, thinking no one is going to be interested…” said the interviewer.

I never really got around to making my list. I saw it as homework I didn’t have time for when I needed to make money now, today. 

But that list is the most important part of starting a business — of any kind, not just network marketing. 

In blogging and marketing, experts are always talking about the importance of building your email list from the very beginning. 

You can’t share a product or service with someone if you don’t have anyone to share it with. But if you have a list of people you can share it with, you’re more likely to get somewhere. 

The homework never really ends when you’re in the business of learning and growing. There is always a lesson to be learned, and a series of actions (or homework) you can take to put what you learned into practice. 

My homework assignment

  • Schedule a focus group research  study event
  • Make a list of 100 men and 100 women
  • Contact and invite list to research study event

What about you?

Do you already have a list? Are you already making contact with them? Great. Then your mission is to organize that list so you can engage in a little segmented marketing. 

What other goals are you working toward when it comes to improving your life in the areas of health, wealth and love?

Give yourself a homework assignment and post it in the comments below if you’d like me to follow up with you on your progress. 

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Altruism breeds love

After working with a client in the Hollywood area, I decided to clock in some Uber/Lyft hours last night to kill some time while traffic died down. I figured if I was going to be sitting in traffic for about an hour anyways, I might as well do it in the service of others while making some extra much-needed cash. This sense of altruism has served me well as a rideshare driver.

Rideshare driving 101

Rule #1 of rideshare driving is to always ask for the name of person about to get in your car. You want to make sure you’re picking up the right person. And riders always appreciate it when you’re not about to let anyone steal their Uber or Lyft ride. 

Rule #2 of rideshare driving is to ask every passenger how his or her day is going. How a person’s day is actually going is insignificant, but what is important is the mood that person is in when he or she gets into your car. How the rider responds to you will tell you everything you need to know to give them an ideal ridesharing experience. 

Some people just want you to shut up and drive. Other people hate awkward silence. Everyone else, I’ve discovered, is just having a really bad day.

When someone is having a bad day, the last thing he or she needs is some stranger inadvertently pouring salt on the wound. The other day, I picked up a woman who totally made my day, and I’m pretty sure I made hers. But it didn’t start that way.

Spreading love on wheels

Here’s how a typical Uber/Lyft ride with me usually pans out:

“How’s your day going?” I asked once the rider got in my car.

“Not good. I’m probably going to be a bad passenger,” she said, or something to that effect.

I took that as my cue to shut up and drive. Some people just need a moment of silence to themselves, so I gave it to her until she engaged me in a conversation.

I shan’t bore you with the details of the conversation that ensued, but for a brief moment in time we bonded over the highs and lows of entrepreneurship and had empathy for one another. The path that leads to being your own boss is not an easy one, but the highs outweigh the lows if you can learn to effectively weather each and every storm.

I wish I had more time to connect with her and share with her a trick I picked up along my own journey for moments when you feel like the walls are caving in on you. Maybe I’ll just have to write a new blog post all about it and hope she reads it. 

She sincerely thanked me for the ride and for “getting it” before we parted ways. I turned her day around through a moment of connectivity. And she totally made my day by validating the fact that none of us are really alone in our battles against the rest of the world. 

Be a beacon of light for those who still have hope

Share and spread your love with everyone you meet. You never know who will need it. You might save someone’s life without even realizing it. 

This blog is dedicated to all those who have lost their lives to suicide and substance abuse. If someone, anyone,  had given them better and healthier coping mechanisms, maybe they’d still be alive. 

R.I.P. Uncle Randy (suicide)

R.I.P. KF (substance abuse)

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