Survival of the Singles

January 1, 2010 by admin

I still haven’t decided what my ideal work schedule will look like in my ventures as an entrepreneur. When I worked as a waitress, I worked part-time on nights, weekends and holidays because I was going to school full-time. When I worked as a bank teller, I would work and go to school on alternating days and at alternating times, but always during typical business hours. I’d go to school on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so I’d work morning or afternoon shifts, sometimes full shifts, on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays. My favorite part of working for the bank was that I was always guaranteed a day off on Sundays, and I never had to work at night. After working normal business hours for three years, I sort of became spoiled because now it is my requirement to maintain my leisurely Sundays.

Now, I find myself working in a typical office environment, working a typical nine-to-five schedule. I can’t complain really. I get to relax in the evenings and I get a full weekend to play, to read, to write, to watch movies, to relax, and to recuperate from the long work week. I guess the trouble for me is that I don’t really relax in the evenings or on the weekends as much as I should. I try to, but it’s become a recurrent comment from my peers in 2009 that I need to relax more. It’s just hard to relax when I have bestowed so much pressure upon myself to achieve my ultimate career goal of becoming a successful freelance writer. I didn’t realize how much of a business it is to be a freelance writer. Of course, they never taught the business side of journalism when I was going to school. All they taught was the writing, reporting and production side of things.

So now I’m thinking: if I am essentially my own boss, then what kind of schedule should I have? Well, given that I work full-time during the day, my schedule seems to be in the evenings and on the weekends. So if I’m always working, when do I get free time? Aside from having sufficient play time, another problem I seem to be having is that of prioritizing. Maybe I’m just harder on myself than anyone else has ever been on me, but I think I could prioritize better. There is always room for improvement and growth, and I definitely believe that I could be more efficient. I just haven’t found the secret formula to living the life I want, because, to be quite frank, I just can’t decide. You see, I’ve been fantasizing about an alternate work schedule but at the cost of a less steady, variable pay.

Sometimes, I find myself wondering if I would have had more free time had I opted to remain working in the restaurant business. I hated the customer service aspect of it (as good as I am at it with my lively personality) but I absolutely loved the variety. Everyday was a new day filled with new and interesting people who each viewed the world from a different lens. Part of my specialty in customer service is the fact that I can be quite the conversationalist once you get me going (otherwise I’m just shy and standoffish), and once a customer gets me going, I find that I’m always learning something new by how they interpret the people and world around them as a result of the lens that they see the world through.

People just intrigue the hell out of me sometimes. I can’t help but be fascinated by other people’s perspective, by their motives and by their behaviors. Psychology fascinates me. It’s an overwhelming subject, and I might not understand it all, but still I am fascinated by human nature, carnal urges and by human emotions.

Anyway (I went off on a tangent there), so where was I? Oh yes, sometimes, I find myself wondering what it’d be like to work at nights again, but not have to work on the weekends or on holidays. If I didn’t have to worry about money, I’d much prefer to have a restaurant as an “office” because I like the people traffic. I like talking to people and learning about the way they see things because in turn, I am learning about myself and how I see things. It’s these sort of mini-revelations that I have nearly everyday that compelled me to become a writer. Everyone is searching for something, and if I can be of service to anyone by sharing my knowledge or insight, then I will know that I have achieved my life’s purpose.

I know what my purpose is in life, and I’ve known for awhile now. I’m one of the lucky ones. Some people spend their whole lives trying to figure who they are or why they are. As for me, well, who I am changes everyday with every new experience. I’m a neurotic freak of nature, and I’ve learned to be okay with that. As for why I am, I am who I am because of my purpose. And I will dedicate my life to achieving that purpose, even if I die trying or if it means being a relationship martyr. (I’ll talk about my revelation on that some other time).

I think, no, I know, that my purpose in life is to become a self-help writer. I’ve been helping myself for years through reading and self-awareness, and as many times as I wanted to overdose on painkillers or sleeping pills, I’ve always managed to find a way to keep myself alive. When it comes down to it, my reason for living is my purpose – the why I am here factor. I will not die until my purpose has been fulfilled, after which I intend to die of natural causes like skin cancer (I always forget to use sun block), a heart attack or stroke (at risk from my mom’s side) or maybe diabetes (at risk from my dad’s side).

So what does the ideal work schedule look like for a woman on a mission to fulfilling her purpose? Maybe there is none. I think I’ll  just take my time with this purpose business because I’m in no rush to die anytime soon if, in fact, we are all beings created for a distinct purpose.

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